I love Facebook. I think I’ve been on it for 5 years now and at first it was mainly to keep me connected to the triathlon club I was in; coordinating workouts, social events within the club, etc. As time went by though, it opened up my past. Friends that I had lost contact with over the years suddenly where sending me friend requests or I was seeing them in the “people you may know” section. Catching up with people and seeing how their lives turned out was wonderful. Sending quick notes or posts, or even better, scheduling time to meet up in person, has been great. Friends of our youth have a certain knowledge about us that, maybe, as time as gone by, we may have forgotten about ourselves.
While I love FB, I know of many people who don’t. They say it is evil; that is a waste of time; that no good can come from it. I clearly don’t agree with those viewpoints at all. As with life, FB is what you make of it.
One of the biggest evils I have heard is that FB breaks up marriages as it causes people to cheat or to otherwise get themselves into trouble. I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement. You know who cheats? Cheaters. You know what makes people cheat? Bad character. If you are looking for trouble, you’re going to find it no matter if it is at work, on FB, or standing in line at Starbucks. I do not believe that an innocent person suddenly gets on FB, gets a friend request and suddenly, through no fault of their own, starts an online affair or flirtation that progresses into a real life affair or flirtation. Why? Because decisions have to be made with FB. (And in real life, too) Do you accept the friend request – yes or no? Do you respond to the overtly sexual comment – yes or no? Do you decide to tell this person something personal about yourself – yes or no? Do you decide to hide the content from your significant other – yes or no? It’s not FB, it’s the person. People were cheating long before FB came around and if someone is using FB to cheat, it’s their bad character, and nothing else.
Now, as I got into FB, I developed rules for myself. I (generally) don’t accept a friend request from someone I don’t know, even if we went to the same high school and we share 20 friends. I truly want my “friends” to be friends. I will also de-friend you if your content is not what I want to be seeing in my news feed or if we have stopped being friends in real life. I have had friend requests that I have mulled over before accepting or declining and I have mulled over sending a friend request to someone. The point being, I am in control of what I am doing within FB. Just as I am in control over where I go on the Internet or what I watch on TV, I have made my FB life an extension of my real life. As far as an evil aspect goes, as stated, I believe any situation has the potential for evil. But, your character is what guides you, right? If you’re a person with bad character, your bad character will come through. If you want to use people and manipulate them or bully them on FB, I am most certain that is what you do in real life as well.
If you go to my page you will see, I believe, that I am a Christian; that my friends and family are extremely important to me; that I have good days and bad days but I am generally an upbeat person; that I love music and movies; that I am athletic; and that I have two dogs that I love but drive me crazy. (cough, Timber). If you see me in real life, you will see, I believe, that I am a Christian; that my friends and family are extremely important to me; that I have good days and bad days but I am generally an upbeat person; that I love music and movies; that I am athletic; and that I have two dogs that I love but drive me crazy. (cough, Timber).
One of the things I love about FB is just being able to catch up with people from different aspects of my life. I had great high school and college experiences and seeing those friends, even if only on FB, makes me happy. I think when we are young, we take for granted that we see these people every day and that they become the backbone of our lives, so to speak. The familiarity of their presence, the way they know you, the way they stick up for you. And once we graduate and life takes us in different directions, you feel an absence that you can’t put your finger on. Until you see that face again, smiling at you from a FB request. For me, it answers the questions…how are they going to turn out? I love seeing their page and what they’ve done with the time they’ve had between now and the last time I saw them. Some of these people were so very important to me and time and distance doesn’t necessarily take any of that away.
Keeping up with friends who have moved away is also something I love about FB. Tucson is a transient town and people come and go so quickly around here. (Two points if you get the movie reference) Seeing where life is leading them and what is happening to them is something I look forward to and it makes my day to know they are following me as well. As yet another close friend packs up to leave, I’m glad I’ll have FB to watch her kidlets grow, and to see her new life in a state far, far away.
Another thing I love about FB are the clips people post. Some are funny, some are inspirational, and some are thought provoking. Some are of food. I’ve been introduced to new bands, new books, new blogs, and new websites. Some clips I disagree with, some I don’t bother to click on, some go un-noticed. I love pet pictures, I love Tj’s posts, I love the randomness of what comes up at any given time. I love that I can express my thoughts on subjects of the day, or just my day. If I’m down in the dumps, people can support me; if I’m having a great day, people can celebrate with me. I can tease you about your song choices or love of certain McDonald’s gastro sandwiches. I can watch your children grow and hear all about your vacation. On my page, you can see endless pictures of Timber staring at me. Hound.
I have heard that FB is time suckage. For me, that is not the case. I don’t do Farmville or Mafiaville or Jewelville or any of that sort of thing. And I don’t accept requests from you on that stuff. No judgments, that’s just not my thing. I don’t labor over writing posts or responses. I’m not on it 24/7. Now, since I’m not working, I’m certainly on it more than when I was working, but for the most part, I don’t have it open all day long and am not checking it every few minutes. For me, it truly is just another way to connect with the people in my life, whether they live across town or across the country.
Not that I haven’t had bad or weird experiences. I’ve had old boyfriends send me messages and get uppity when I didn’t rekindle feelings we had when we were sixteen; I’ve had people send me lengthy messages asking why I de-friended them; I’ve had someone pretend to be a well know Pastor and send me personal messages. All of these situations just let me understand how to use the “block” and “delete” tools, as well as the privacy settings. But, just as I have bad or weird experiences in real life, I’m not ready to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
So, thanks for your posts and inviting me in to a slice of your life. And thanks for never getting tired of photos of my dogs.
