On Thanksgiving

Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays. I love food and a whole holiday centered on a gigantic dinner was right up my alley. The tradition of my grandmother and mother cooking in the kitchen gives me a warm feeling inside and after my Grandmother passed, it is on Thanksgiving that I miss her most.

                                                                                                                             

I think it was somewhere in my teen years when I realized that the day wasn’t truly about turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, but about the idea of giving thanks. I was not a Christian back then; I had a rough belief that there was ‘a’ god, and any thanks to him were more along the lines of, “good food, good meat, good god, let’s eat!”.

My understanding of being thankful was the year my Mom was in the hospital for a breast lump. She was in for three or four days and it just happened to be over the holiday. Now, sometimes I just know things and I knew it was nothing. I kept telling everyone it was nothing but everyone was still very worried and upset. So, when the tests came back Thanksgiving morning that she was fine, at the table that night everyone said a heartfelt thank-you that she was okay and the light bulb popped over my head. “Oh, thanksgiving!”

When I was going to school in NYC, it was to be my first Thanksgiving away from my family. I was homesick and couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck at the Y for the holiday. My Mom suggested I go see our extended family in upstate NY, so I boarded a bus to Elmira, and was instantly surrounded by my cousins. At the Thanksgiving table I remember feeling so incredibly thankful for this extended family; to be with my cousins and aunts and uncles, oh my, but it was wonderful. They took care of me and it really took the sting out of not being in Tucson. Plus, Sonny made me calzones for the trip home…score!

After I got married and Michael came along, being thankful was easy. I had so many things to be thankful for and the holiday took on new meaning as I made new traditions with my own family.

One of the things I loved best about the holiday was the day after…it was the official start to the Christmas season. Stores would unveil their Christmas displays and their decorations and as a kid, it was quite magical. As an adult, the anticipation of the upcoming season was eagerly awaited and it made it all so special. I looked forward to hearing the first Christmas carol and looked forward to the joy that time of year would always bring.

This brings us to now and a trend that just makes me cringe…the Black Friday nonsense. Now, Black Friday has been around since the 1960’s and was dubbed accordingly since that was the day the stores accounts finally went from red to black. It was a part of what I described above; people hitting the stores to see the Christmas displays and start their shopping. But, it is only in recent years that the stores have started promoting cheap prices and opening at 5am. Then 2am. Then, hey, why not just open on Thanksgiving evening?

So, today, some stores will be open all day and some will open at 8pm. And I hate it. Really, really hate it.

This is supposed to be a day of being with your family and just enjoying each other. Of cooking together. Of truly giving thanks for what you have right at this moment.

When did we start letting corporate America dictate what we do on this holiday? Just because they say ‘jump’, doesn’t mean we have to ask ‘how high’?

And think about this now, in the past few years, they have told us that if we want a chance to get a good price on a TV, we have to be at their store in the wee hours of the morning. Now, they are saying that Thanksgiving really isn’t a big deal. Eat your meal, then go line up. Their commercials are all cheery and fun, showing Moms forgoing cooking to go get that good deal. Blech.

Yes, I’ve heard all their excuses; they need to do this because the stores are not doing well. All year long they barely make it, so the only way to balance their sheets is to open their stores on this national holiday. 

May I suggest if your store is in the red most of the year, that perhaps you are running your store incorrectly? You can’t tell me that the only way to make your store profitable is to show such utter disrespect for your employees and for the very customers you say you care so much about.

Because it is about disrespect. How corporate America decided one year that they didn't care about  their customers and cared even less about their employees. They care about money. And wouldn't it be fun to see how high we can make these people jump? What kind of person suggests this and what kind of person thinks this is a good idea? The first year someone was trampled, the first year someone was killed, well, they should have said enough is enough. But, hey, they made a bunch of money, so they decided to up the ante, right? It is beyond disrespect…it borders on evil, really.

And are any of these decision making people going to be working today? Will they be helping maintain the crowds or helping someone who gets knocked down? Not a chance. No CEO, CFO, President, or board member is going to leave their family or their table to work in their stores. Nope. They have hourly employees who really need a job to do that for them.  And if one of those employees gets hurt? Ah, well, collateral damage.

That some people actually go line up in the middle of the night and risk the chance of being hurt (or worse) and leave their family or perhaps forgo cooking all together to go stand in line, boggles my mind. I don’t understand it. It’s basic, really. Just because they open their stores and dangle tantalizing “deals” in front of us, doesn't mean we have to go. We can stay home with our families and shop tomorrow. At a reasonable time. And what would happen then? What would happen if they went to all this trouble and no one showed up? If they paid millions of dollars for TV commercials with big celebrities and no one cared? We teach people how to treat us and we've taught corporate American that we’ll do anything for a “deal”. Because if we put our national foot down, if they said ‘jump’ and we said, ‘um, no’, we’d ALL be enjoying this day today. The stores would stay closed and they’d open at 9am tomorrow because that is what we've told them to do.

But, yes, I know this isn't our reality. People have told me there isn't anything we can do and this is the face of retail now. And it makes me sad. Truly sad. And angry.

For me, I will boycott all the stores that are opening today. I boycotted Target last year and didn't set foot back in their stores until February. I didn’t miss it at all. So this year, along with Target, I will boycott Kohl’s, Macy’s, Old Navy, and whatever other stores decided to join the Walmart generation and open today. I know it won’t change a thing, but it will make me feel a whole lot better. Because, you know, those stupid tv’s will be there tomorrow and that great deal, really isn’t that great. Stay with your family, because, here is the thing, they might not be here tomorrow. The best deal is truly those people gathered around you.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.